I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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