Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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