So drunk, too bad you don't want this
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
