it wasn't lemon gatorade
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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