I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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