you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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