this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
two words: eviction party
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
