Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
