somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
