I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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