Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize