S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
