The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
