dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
