Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
