And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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