I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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