With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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