How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
