this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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