you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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