Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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