so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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