Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
