So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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