So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't deserve a penis
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
