No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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