You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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