After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
