they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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