"it" just moved
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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