i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
