Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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