Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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