can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
