he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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