Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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