I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
