wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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