I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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