i just wanna soil my oats bro
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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