okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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