i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The ass gains better be worth it
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