I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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