the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am in a vortex of obligation.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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