You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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