woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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