reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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