She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize