I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
