Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Plan B is the new Plan A
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
