...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
