what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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