Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
