the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
