then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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