i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
