im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
