A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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