I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
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Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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