he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
