Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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