It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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