its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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