Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
