I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
