Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
