What a fucking waste of an outfit
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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