I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
