I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
